My life is crazy lately..
4 days clubbing in row a week.
even the next day work or sick.
being like that every week...
i dont know what the hell in my mind.
The mistake.
i dont know why i cant safe myself from the mistake..
still keep on worsen the mistake...
that cant made myself feel better..
instead made myself feel more lost more bad !
i fucking hate all these!
i wanna run away from these!
i really scare...i scare every thing..
i scare alone,i scare lonely...
especially i scare to face to the mistake i had made..
i had control it very well before..
but i lost control again..
i feel heart pain..
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart...
i'm bluffing myself all the time..
my heart still bleeding actually...
i did many thing to stop that..
i dont even care is that alright for myself!
i just wanna run away from that...
but i failed...
we are the most familiar stranger now.
i think back the moment we had last time in the lonely silent night,
i really smile..but with the tears...
I didn't know where to turn to..
See somehow I can't forget you.
After all that we've been through..
Thinking that I deserve it..
Now I realise that I really didn't know..
If you didn't notice you mean everything..
Quickly I'm learning to love again.
All I know is I'll be ok.
funny shit!
if i can control better at the begining..
im a happy women right now...
maybe im a issue people in his eyes.
that the way he is..
i tot i can keep acting..
but that too hard...
but,dont worry...
i will not act pity to made you love me..
that just because i useless...
that why i only hate myself...
hate that i love you.
i love you just because that's you.
i try to move that on others..
but i failed again.
sorry..
Anyway..
i TRUST you're just dont want to hurt me,
not wanted lie to me..
who will let go easy if really been in love...
I dont think i couldn't live without you,
It's gonna hurt when it heals too.
It'll all get better in time..
And even though I really love you..
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to It'll all get better in time...
Since there's no more you and me.
It's time I let you go So I can be free.
And live my life how it should be.
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you.
i trust i can...
my emo's song...
The kind of flawless I wish I could be...
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love.
My dear friends..
plz dont ask what happen on me..
i use to recover by my own.
i'm still alright..
i just wanna release my own emotion in my own blog.
i will let you guys know if i get the right time.
but i dont think i will get that.
loves,
pat.
