M.E

没那麼简单 就能找到 聊得来的伴
尤其是在 看过了那麼多的背叛
总是不安 只好强悍
谁谋杀了我的浪漫
没那麼简单 就能去爱 别的全不看 变得实际
也许好也许坏各一半 不爱孤单 一久也习惯
不用担心谁 也不用被谁管
感觉快乐就忙东忙西 感觉累了就放空自己
别人说的话 随便听一听 自己作决定
不想拥有太多情绪 一杯红酒配电影
在周末晚上 关上了手机 舒服窝在沙发裡
相爱没有那麼容易 每个人有他的脾气
过了爱作梦的年纪 轰轰烈烈不如平静
幸福没有那麼容易 才会特别让人著迷
什麼都不懂的年纪 曾经最掏心 所以最开心
曾经 想念最伤心 但却最动心 的记忆

*我曾经答应过你，我会好好的活下去。。。

S T O R Y

If life is a stort book,i think my life is an interesting story book..
full of happiness and sad case..
i know much more ppl that sad than me..
but i really never think my life is full of "challange"...
is that meaningful?
is that i will non stop talking my story to my children or even grandchildren at my late life?
like a talkative old auntie...
then they will say:" stop talking bullshit mak..!"

Sometime,i wonder..
who i am? what i am? how i am??
what will i be? what i should do??
however,i never get my answer..
looking around ppl complaining,
but actually they are staying in happiness...
am i one of them ?
some are really in happiness and showing their lovely sweet thing everywhere everytime..
it make me really hate it...irritating...
but maybe i am one of them one day...
i think i will do the same thing...

So,what i have to do now is just keep it up look for that day...
everytime wake up and tell myself today will be fine...
tell myself the day i want is just at the corner..

Thanks for those who love me,
thanks for those who don't...
you raise me up,
make me know i have to wake up from fell...
make me know i have to love myself more...
Im doing that...
for those who don't,i will let you regret one day...
cause im being tough,and being evil...

Loves,
Pat.

what & why

Life is that just same as drama?
My life is getting dramatic..
Some thing happen makes me can't believe on that..
How could it happen on me?
I hope that's just a joke!
I can't get a way to express myself..
I lost a best friend that willing beside me when I down last time..
And now seem like he ditch me for someone..
I don't know how to tell cause it sound redicurous..
An operation that only got 39% living chance...
God really love to play on me..
Love to testing me...
I really lost..helpless..
I lost too many things..too many important treasure things..
I can't express myself or describe my mood by words..
Beside cry,what else I can do..

Tried

I bring the fighter spirit last night.
i been steady and sportman...
i knew i did it best,i knew i tried my best.
i bring out my confidence,hold my sick,
block my fears..
Its all out of my expect..
i cant believe i can work it out like that even i been suck lately..
even my mood totaly out..
even maybe out of support by others..
i really love myself last night!
i go all the way alone..
all the way by myself...over come everythings..
and just fight for myself..

But god seem like still testing me...
still playing fool around me...
the luck never come to me..

Raining heavy out there is just like my heart..
when will my luck come..
i ady been thru all those shit..
why dont just give me some thing to make me happy and feel little of sweet...

I never give up even i was thinking to giving up..
for now i do really feel insecure and sad..
i tot i pay all heart and will get good return..
i never expect the best,but atlease give me better..

From morning till on the way to ipoh i just keep reminding myself to calm down and relax..
even untill the moment i stand on stage and look at the judge..
i really fight...and for me i think i not the best but i better...
is that i really dont deserve anything better??
others just do nothing and performance not well also and get it..
and me??

Never mind,i did my best..
and i got faith to myself..
i believe i will get best thing after all these!!
keep it up !

Loves,
Pat