Being LOVE Being HURT Being BLEEDING..

My life is crazy lately..

4 days clubbing in row a week.

even the next day work or sick.

being like that every week...

i dont know what the hell in my mind.

The mistake.

i dont know why i cant safe myself from the mistake..

still keep on worsen the mistake...

that cant made myself feel better..

instead made myself feel more lost more bad !

i fucking hate all these!

i wanna run away from these!

i really scare...i scare every thing..

i scare alone,i scare lonely...

especially i scare to face to the mistake i had made..

i had control it very well before..

but i lost control again..

i feel heart pain..

The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart...

i'm bluffing myself all the time..

my heart still bleeding actually...

i did many thing to stop that..

i dont even care is that alright for myself!

i just wanna run away from that...

but i failed...

we are the most familiar stranger now.

i think back the moment we had last time in the lonely silent night,

i really smile..but with the tears...

I didn't know where to turn to..

See somehow I can't forget you.

After all that we've been through..

Thinking that I deserve it..

Now I realise that I really didn't know..

If you didn't notice you mean everything..

Quickly I'm learning to love again.

All I know is I'll be ok.

funny shit!

if i can control better at the begining..

im a happy women right now...

maybe im a issue people in his eyes.

that the way he is..

i tot i can keep acting..

but that too hard...

but,dont worry...

i will not act pity to made you love me..

that just because i useless...

that why i only hate myself...

hate that i love you.

i love you just because that's you.

i try to move that on others..

but i failed again.

sorry..

Anyway..

i TRUST you're just dont want to hurt me,

not wanted lie to me..

who will let go easy if really been in love...

I dont think i couldn't live without you,

It's gonna hurt when it heals too.

It'll all get better in time..

And even though I really love you..

I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to It'll all get better in time...

Since there's no more you and me.

It's time I let you go So I can be free.

And live my life how it should be.

No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you.

i trust i can...

my emo's song...

The kind of flawless I wish I could be...

She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love.

My dear friends..

plz dont ask what happen on me..

i use to recover by my own.

i'm still alright..

i just wanna release my own emotion in my own blog.

i will let you guys know if i get the right time.

but i dont think i will get that.

loves,

pat.